Dear Jen,
How much masturbation is too much masturbation?
Asking For a Friend
Dear Asking For a Friend,
This is a pretty common question, especially with people talking about things like porn and/or sex addiction. The agonizingly simple answer is, naturally, it depends. I think the “better” question might be: is it possible to masturbate too much? And the answer to that seems to be, unfortunately, yes. However, I want to note how incredibly healthy masturbation is for the human psyche and body. Masturbation helps to release sexual tension, reduces stress, can help one sleep better, allows the person to be more in tune with their own pleasure and to feel more confident about their body. Masturbation truly can be about showing yourself some much needed love. For women, it can even help relieve menstrual cramps. And while not completely about masturbation, the American Medical Association recommends that men ejaculate 2-3 times every 10-14 days for prostate health.
So when does masturbation become unhealthy? That’s the real question here, right? Masturbation becomes unhealthy when it interrupts your relationship, sexual health, or social health in some way. For some, masturbation becomes preferred over sex with their partner, thus, often hurting their relationship. There are some who have begun to prefer to stay home in order to watch porn or masturbate versus being social and getting stress relief that way. Furthermore, if a person only masturbates “one way”, they can get “stuck” on this methodology and unable to perform otherwise. I have known several clients who are unable to orgasm with a partner because they have essentially trained their body to orgasm with their hand, or one type of sex toy, or in one position. This is not very sustainable across a relationship.
Ideally, a person would be able to both have sex with a partner, if they have one, and masturbate. Many will say that sex is preferred, but I still encourage people to masturbate, as well. This can help with desire discrepancy and again, give yourself some “me” time. Your body is always changing and you might be able to find erogenous zones you didn’t know you had!! It’s all about the balance. I hope this helps and you can pass on the info to your friend!
Sincerely,
Jen
*Disclaimer: this is not meant to act as or replace therapy in any way. Questions sent in may be edited for de-identification purposes, length, and/or grammatical coherency.